Motherhood has made me a better lawyer.

By Suzanne Burnett

With Mother’s Day having just passed, I have been reflecting on how becoming a mom has shaped my legal career in ways I never anticipated. I expected the sleepless nights, the overwhelming love, and the nonstop juggling act. What I didn’t expect was how deeply motherhood would influence who I am as a lawyer. It hasn’t pulled me away from my work—it’s grounded me in it. I’m more focused, more compassionate, and more connected to the people I serve. In many ways, motherhood has made me a better lawyer. That realization came as a surprise, especially after years of hearing that motherhood and a career were at odds. I have been asked more times than I can count, and by people who I thought understood how much my work meant to me, if I was “going the mommy track.”  This always offended me.  I had worked very hard to get where I was professionally and had taken on significant student loan debt to get my legal education.  It came up so frequently that it even made me question whether I was doing the right thing.  I have the utmost respect for parents that do step back from their career to raise their kids – but I never pictured myself being one of them.  I can assure you that each time my husband shared the news that I was pregnant, not once did anyone question whether he would sacrifice any part of his career.  While we’ve made meaningful progress as a society in normalizing working motherhood, there’s still a long way to go.  (But that is another topic entirely.)

I have always been a planner, and even as a child I remember fantasizing about having both a meaningful career and a family.  Getting to the dream isn’t always so glamorous.  And being a working mom is pretty much a struggle in some way, shape, or form daily.  Despite this, I would not want anything different.  And I wholeheartedly believe that motherhood has made me a better lawyer.  Being a working mom has allowed me to be more intentional about the time I spend with my children and while at work.  There is a lot of talk in our culture about the pursuit of a work-life balance.  I have never been truly able to relate to that concept.  I don’t often feel like my life is balanced and trying to achieve some perfect equilibrium between the two seems destined for failure.  I have related much more to a newer concept, the work-life blend.

The truth is my job, my family, and my identity of being a lawyer and mom are wholly and completely intertwined.  As it relates to my job specifically, working with victims of negligence, motherhood has strengthened my abilities in several specific and identifiable ways. 

1.        A Deeper Sense of Empathy

My clients come to me at their most vulnerable, reeling from losses they never anticipated: a sudden car crash that claims a loved one, a medical error that upends a life, or an injury that steals mobility, disrupts routines, and erodes trust in the world. As a mom, I’m uniquely attuned to these hardships. When I sit across from someone enduring physical, emotional, or financial pain, I don’t just evaluate a claim—I feel the ripple effect on their entire family. I picture the struggle of juggling work deadlines around endless doctor’s appointments while still shuttling kids to school, practice, and playdates during their own recovery. Many clients face weeks or months of rehabilitative therapy; at worst, they confront permanent disability and the loss of activities they both need and love to do. And for parents or caregivers, the stakes are even higher—suddenly having to navigate your own injury when others depend on you can be devastating. Experiencing the chaos of my own daily life has made me a more empathetic advocate for those balancing careers, families, and unplanned hardship.

2.        A Better Sense of Perspective

When you’ve had a toddler throw a tantrum in a grocery store or stayed up all night with a sick baby, it's easier to take courtroom curveballs or opposing counsel’s antics in stride. Motherhood has given me perspective. I’ve learned to better choose my battles, stay calmer under pressure, and see the bigger picture—skills that are invaluable in the legal world.

As a new or younger trial lawyer, I stressed (obsessed?) about winning.  I still want to win, work hard, prepare endlessly, and am fiercely competitive; however, the stakes of winning and losing don’t feel quite so high now that I am a mom.  I have won trials.  I have lost trials.  Regardless of the outcome, when I come home from court, my family needs me.  Of course, they’re always happy to cheer me on or cheer me up, depending on the outcome.  But in the end, there is dinner to be made, toys to clean up, homework to help with, boo-boos to kiss, teeth to brush, good night stories to read and bedtime tuck-ins to do.  Winning isn’t everything.  And winning all the time is not possible.  I have learned that it is enough to work as hard as I can for my clients and to be the best advocate I can be.  In trial, we do not control the outcome.  And win, lose, or draw, my family loves me just the same.  My skill, career, and competence are not defined by a single case or a single day.  There are and will always be good days and bad days, highs and lows, both in the courtroom and in motherhood.  Learning to give myself grace has made me not only a stronger lawyer, but a more resilient person.

3.        Time Management

There’s nothing like the ticking clock of childcare ending for the day or the chaos of family life to teach you how to manage your time with precision. I’ve become ruthlessly efficient. I know what needs to be done, and I do it. I don’t waste time.  This has made me more productive and reliable.  I also must maximize the little time I have for myself.  Before kids, getting up at 7 seemed early.  The only way I can fit in a workout now is before everyone else is awake, so my alarm goes off at 6 daily and I head to my Peloton for my ride.  I don’t often take breaks at work and most days lunch is eaten at my desk.  It is not infrequent that I log back on to my computer after bedtime or that I read medical records in the quiet evening hours or during weekend nap time.  There is not a short cut to hard work, but being more efficient and deliberate with time helps significantly.  

4.        Building Stronger Bonds with Clients

Motherhood has made me more relatable to many of my clients. I understand what it means to worry about your family, your future, your health. I know what it feels like to be vulnerable.  Talking about my own kids or asking clients about theirs is an easy icebreaker and way to connect.  Much of what I talk to clients about is painful, sad, and stressful, so changing the topic to family matters can allow my client to be more comfortable or have a welcome distraction after a long deposition.  And this does not just work with clients.  I have been able to better connect with other witnesses, opposing counsel, and even judges on the shared experience of parenthood. That shared humanity helps me build trust and rapport—especially with my clients who are going through some of the hardest moments of their lives.

I am grateful that I have been able to continue to represent the clients I care so much about, to experience meaningful professional achievements, and to raise a family.  Motherhood didn’t make me less of a lawyer. It made me more of one. It challenged me to grow in ways I didn’t anticipate and gave me strengths I now rely on every day in my practice. I hope to be a positive role model for my children by showing them the merits of hard work.  My clients are better served because of the lessons I’ve learned as a mom—and I’m proud to bring both parts of myself into the work I do.